I love, love, love it when the message at youth group hits me hard. I often don’t allow myself to internalize it fully because I’m trying to focus on how to make it relatable to the teens. And I also love when God allows a story that I’ve heard an uncountable number of times to touch my heart in a new way or give me a new perspective on something. So what was this groundbreaking story?? The story of David and Goliath.
Oh yeah. You know the story. And you may even be a little disappointed that that was the earth-shattering story, right? Well, lemme tell ya, God used this to give me a new and possibly more full view of this cancer and why I’m going through it. I know what you’re thinking “yeah, yeah, you are David and the cancer is Goliath and you’re gonna beat it with God’s help like David did.” Not quite. Stick with me. God showed me that my enemy is the same one I’ve had all along, and the same one we all have. You know who I mean; “the” enemy. The one who tells people they are worthless. The one who makes people feel hopeless. The one who says, “You’ll be happy and feel complete if you can just accomplish [fill in the blank]”. Man, I hate the devil and lying liar face!! Anyway, what I believe God is showing me is that cancer is my sling! It is my tool!
Ok, now that you all think I’m full on Britney Spears circa 2007 crazy, let me explain a little. I had been focused on my enemy, or my Goliath in metaphore world, as being cancer. I am going to fight it physically and will be victorious with the help of the Lord. Yes. That makes perfect sense and could very well (hopefully) be true, but the feeling I’m getting powerfully from God tonight, is that while dangerous, unpleasant, and inconvenient, cancer isn’t the giant I’m supposed to focus on with all my might. Don’t get me wrong, I will fight this with all my might, but I’m going to choose to keep my focus on God and using this situation as a tool.
Let’s face it, God can choose to heal me or He can choose not to. I don’t want to portray my cancer as the enemy and by doing so misrepresent who God is and underestimate my value on this earth.
My enemy hasn’t changed, my battlefield has.
Bring it on.