Ok, so this is me. Freaking. Out. Not even sure how to process all this info at this point. But I know that I desperately need prayer right now.
We just found out that surgery will be Friday (a day and a half away!) and it will pretty intense. It’s gonna be a 7 hour surgery with a team of surgeons that includes the surgeon we saw today, who we know is world class, and a world class plastic surgeon (and no, he doesn’t take requests for other procedures while I’m under. And no, his nurse did not find that funny). So anyway, this surgery will include some facial reconstruction where they will take some tissue from my thigh to put into my cheek where the one tumor is so that, no lie, my ear doesnt sink into my face. I can’t make this stuff up, people. They will have to remove a portion of my ear and the plastic surgeon will reconstruct it using tissue from my arm I think. They will remove 30-40 of my lymph nodes on the right side of my neck. I will have to stay in the hospital 6 days. And this is where I started to tear up. I just can’t imagine being away from my kids for that long. I know they could come visit with someone, but I don’t think they need to see mommy like that.
And there’s even one more speedbump. My brain MRI showed an abnormality. No cancer, but a lesion that they need to check out and rule out an aneurism (sp??). He doesn’t think that’s what it is, but they have to rule it out.
So. This is where we are at. I know God is working in this because our surgeon just happened to have not one, but two cancellations for this Friday making enough time for the surgery. Also, the plastic surgeon who is working with him just happened to have written a paper about this exact reconstruction. Even our main surgeon was surprised to hear that when he called him while he was in the room with us. Also, I’m pretty sure my surgeon is a Christian. Maybe that would not matter to some people, but it does to me. When he was explaining the surgery, he says, “I just work here.” He looks up and says, “someone else is in control.” So. Awesome.
I know God is working in this. I can see it and I can feel it. It is absolutely tangible. But before all you kind people start calling me brave (which I’ve appreciated although not quite understood lol) just know that I feel anything but. I am only facing this because I have to. I feel scared, and sad, and small. But, I know God is here with me, and no matter my attitude going into this, His protection and provision will be the same.
Thank you all again so much for your prayers. This experience has blessed us so much in just how people are taking care of us and lifting us up in prayers. Thank you all for your support and love and to the anonymous and nonanonymous donors, thank you from the bottom of our hearts. Every scripture people give me, I look up. Everything people give me to read, I read. Every card we’ve gotten, I save and bring with me to appointments so I can read them while I wait. Thanks again. We would appreciate continued prayer support. Here we go! Love you guys!!