It’s been a long and pretty emotional day. Eric and I headed to Philly to get my lymph node on my left side biopsied. We waited in the waiting room for about 3 hours before they took us back for the procedure. It involved an ultrasound tech “mapping” the area first then a doctor taking a needle and getting tissue from inside the lymph node while watching it on the ultrasound machine. After the tech was done mapping it, she mentioned that the node was 2cm large, almost as big as my other ones at the beginning of this mess. Well once she said the size I was just overwhelmed with emotion and flashbacks from the first time and I cried. The whole procedure lol. Not like sobbing, but tears streaming the whole time. I couldn’t help myself. I felt really silly with two doctors and the the tech in there, and I’m pretty sure they all felt awkward, but the tech was super sweet and she held my hand the whole procedure.
And unfortunately there’s no news to show for it. They said it will be next week before we know anything. It’s really frustrating and the worst part is they did not seem to think it was a fluke. The fact that it was just one enlarged node seemed to suggest it’s not just a cold or something. They seemed to be bracing me for the worst. So, I will be ready for the worst and hoping for the best. If it turns out to be nothing, it is a miracle. I truly believe that. They didn’t give us much hope for anything else, so how much more could God be glorified if it comes back benign?? Either way I’ll praise Him, but of course I’m still hoping for one over the other.
I felt really down on the beginning of the car ride home, and then I saw a rainbow. I can’t explain it because I’ve never seen one in a clear sky like this. I kept squinting and taking off my sunglasses, and it was still there. I felt so comforted. God’s reminder to remember His promises! I felt a little crazy though because Eric didn’t see it and it wasn’t exactly rainbow conditions but it was still comforting. Then the whole drive home was just gorgeous. The light was shining perfectly through the icy trees and it truly looked like silver glitter on everything. And if you know me, you know how much I like glitter!! The coolest part? I was talking to my mother in law just going over the appointment and she told me how she and my father in law had just seen a rainbow (: