Oh the joys….

Wow! So the last few weeks have been a whirlwind! I won’t bore you with all the details, but I will say I’ve been to Penn far too much recently and I’m so glad it’s looking like I won’t have to go back til June! Aww yea! I’ll bore you with some details though, in the past two weeks, I’ve given the sermon at my church (such a cool experience), had 3 cat scans (neck, chest, and pelvis),

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BARF!!!

had full body photography (every bit as awful as it sounds. Seriously.), had a stage 4 scare (still not quite out of the woods there), got 32 vials of blood drawn today (THIRTY. TWO.), and saw my oncologist today and got a lymph node biopsied. All this in addition to all my normal stuff (kids, work, ministry, physical therapy, etc.).

All this to say, you do not have time for cancer. Seriously, it’s unbelievably time consuming to deal with all this.  Last night was horrible because we saw the results of my chest cat scan before talking to my oncologist today and that result showed two very small lesions on my right lung

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I don’t know how to speak oncolog-ese quite yet, so I was very scared and panicked a bit when I saw this. Any recurrence at this point kicks my butt right into stage 4.  This was in addition to the neck scan that said that the lymph node on the left side of my neck is still growing (2.5cm at this point) and still looks suspicious. In the words of my three year old and Handy Manny, “ay yi yi yi yi!!”. My oncologist was not too concerned about the lesions, he will keep an eye on them, but I did get another needle biopsy of the lymph node. I really wish this little turd would stop acting up! My tonsils keep looking suspicious on these stinkin tests too. Guh… Seriously, there’s been other stuff thrown in too, it’s just one thing after another. So I’m glad that (as long as the biopsy comes back ok) I don’t have to go back to Penn for three whole weeks!! Now that’s awesome!

A few random updates: we had “the talk” with our three year old. Long story short, he found a book that someone had given us about talking to kids about a mommy with cancer and he was absolutely insistent that I read it to him. I don’t know how he found it, for real, but he wouldn’t stop begging. So I read it to him. I changed the wording so that it fit my situation and calmly explained to him the child-safe basics. He was very, very interested in hearing about my specific doctors, what their names were, and how they help mommy. After we were done, he looks at me and says, “sometimes I have cancer too, Mommy”. It was the perfect way to explain to him that he wasn’t sick and that he was just fine. And off he went and didn’t talk about it again until today! This morning he said to my husband, “my mommy has cancer.” So I know he heard the discussion, and I’m glad that he didn’t obsess over it but that it got through. We will get there!

Another update: my eating habits have changed for the better! I’m about 60% there. Eating so much more raw, organic, non-gmo food and I’m reading up and learning lots more about food and nutrition every day. And…I feel better! Amazing how that is…

A special thank you to those that have been praying for us and supporting us.  I will be honest, when I read those results last night that said that there were two lesions on my right lung, I really lost it. I cried and cried and cried. Thank God for our supportive family and awesome friends and especially a friend who came and prayed with me. Let me tell you, that was a blessing. It doesn’t matter if you have the “right” words to say (those words don’t exist, so no worries), just being there makes all the difference. Even just a supportive text or prayer means the world. 

I know this post is all over the place, but honestly, that’s how I feel right now so I’m ok with it (:

Here’s a pic of my animals to round out the randomness:

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Just giving the people what they want! πŸ˜‰
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18 thoughts on “Oh the joys….

  1. Oh my heart aches for you. I can kind of imagine how busy you are with trying to stay on top of it all. My husband had a kidney transplant over 12 years ago. In the past 13 years, his appointments sounded almost as bad as yours. But with not such scary outcomes. Except for the one over 5 years ago – when he was diagnosed with Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma. At times, you just want to enjoy life outside of a doctor’s office, right? I am constantly amazed at your good outlook and being upbeat in your situation. If being positive would be a cure, you would definitely cured! Praying for you and your family.

  2. praying for you and your family daily,you are never alone,GOD hears all of the prayers,and he sees all the tears,and he will NEVER forsake you!!!

  3. My email in box had the blog title “199”‘ , did I miss your first 180 posts .? oh the joy is a better title. Praying for you and thinking of you daily, pastor ken under pressure to deliver good sermon this Sunday as the bar was raised by pastor Kim last Sunday , May the shadow of the Lords hand be over you daily. Blessings.

    1. Haha! I don’t think Pastor Ken has anything to worry about! While it was fun, that is a ton of work!! You can ask Eric, that’s not how I roll lol. Thank you for praying! πŸ™‚

  4. Thoughts and prayers are constantly with you, Kim. May God wrap His everlasting arms around you and give you strength for each day. We serve an awesome God who does hear our every cry. “Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the Lord your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you.” Deut. 31:6

    1. Yes Penny, exactly! I know He heard me, but I was definitely resistant to hearing back. Thanks for your encouragement! You are definitely blessed in the area of encouraging others!! ❀

  5. Hi Kim…….May God strengthen every healthy cell in your body and destroy every potential cancer cell…AMEN!!! Praying for you daily Kim. I know, all to well, how crazy this walk can be. I lived it 18 years ago and I am here today….watching my son get married, rooting my other 2 children through college…ALL because of our, faithful, generous and powerful GOD!!! May He do His great work in you. He already is using you in so many amazing ways!!!! Keep looking up to HIM!!!

    I made a green shake every day…still do most days. A banana, yogurt, organic fruits (fresh or frozen), kale, spinach or bok choy and any other organic veggies I had available. If you add cinnamom or a slice of lemon it takes away the green taste! I just ate as much real, healthy food as I could afford. And cut out the sugars as much as possible! Mild exercise is always good…like a brisk walk outdoors. Wish I could come and make green shakes with you. Please remember that God is in control!!!

    1. Wow that’s amazing!! I love it! God is so awesome πŸ™‚ I actually drink a green shake every day with organic spinach and fruit I have never tried bok choy! I’ll have to see how expensive it is, if it’s not too bad I’ll give it a try. Kale I hated haha but I don’t mind the spinach at all

  6. Hi Kim! I so enjoy your posts. You truly are an inspiration to all of us. I think of you often and pray that you are doing well. If you don’t already have it, check out Kicking Cancer in the Kitchen: The Girlfriend’s Cookbook and Guide to Using Real Food to Fight Cancer by Annette Ramke and Kendall Scott. It has a lot of great recipes to use during treatment. I get to see your wonderful sister-in-law Michelle today as I have a 6-month follow-up with radiation oncology.

    1. I am going to check amazon and see if the have that book!! Thanks so much! This is a new way of life for me (healthy cooking) So I need all the help I can get. Awesome you got to see Michelle! I wanted to go to her too but my oncologist wanted me at Penn…boo! πŸ™‚

  7. Wow, Kim. This is an amazing report. amazing because you choose to be on the upside of God’s promises rather than dwell in the pit of despair. Good to hear you cry it out. We women especially need to vent our emotions – when they build up, they fester and explode like a huge zit! You do have a loving, supportive family. Strikes me that the Lord is using all of this to tell the world that He is in charge of it all. He brings healing in many different forms when we give it all to Him! I am glad you had a good conversation with your little guy. That book was probably the one the Lord told me to pass along to you. Children are amazingly sensitive and understanding of adult’s emotional needs. Have you guys read Heaven Is For Real? Have you gone to see the movie? Your little guy is about the same age as Colton Burpo, the little boy who is the subject of the story. I learned so much from him. I read the book twice two years ago. I just saw the movie. (they did leave out some main points) It is so wonderful to know that the Lord seeks to connect us to Him and His promises to keep us going through what happens here on earth. All of this has a purpose and we are being prepared for a greater battle that will lead to a permanent home with Jesus!!! Yeah God. Blessings. Many here at the Ephrata Naz church continue to hold you up in prayer.

    1. I have not read it yet but I really want to! I’m hoping to read it and in a few years watch the movie with the kids. Thanks again for all your help and guidance, that book really opened up a.conversation with him that while it may have brought up some new questions, I think it helped ease his mind on some level because he knew things were “off”. Usually when I cry (bawl…) it’s when I think about the kids in all this. But we will all find a way through with the help of the Lord!!

  8. Continuing to pray for you!
    “The LORD is the everlasting God, the creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the faint and to him who has no might he increases strength. …but they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.” Isa 40: 28b-29 and 31.
    “Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned and the flame shall not consume you. For I am the LORD your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.” Isa 43: 1b-2a

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