“Pray also for me, that whenever I speak, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains. Pray that I may declare it fearlessly, as I should.” Ephesians 6:19-20
God led me to these verses last night. As in, I (seemingly) randomly opened up my Bible and there they were. I must admit, my fears were getting the best of me last night as I kept replaying in my head what this day would look like and, of course, all the possible outcomes or results. For those that may not know, today my dad and I will be heading to Penn for a long day of lab work, oncologist visit, PET scan, and hopefully will get the first infusion of the new drug my oncologist wants to try. This will make for a slow, painful day full of waiting and fasting (ughhhh!! Haha) and just junk I don’t want to do, quite frankly. So last night, after I finished my prayer time, I knew I still had too much nervous energy to even try to sleep, so I grabbed my bible and literally just opened it. Ephesians 6:10-20 popped out at me, so I read it.
And as I read and reread these verses, I knew God was telling me that I shouldn’t even be fearing the things that I thought I should. It wasn’t the tests and possible scan results that I needed to worry about, or what my oncologist might say, or how I might tolerate (or not tolerate) the new drug, or any other fears that come along with stage 4 cancer, but what I need to be concerned about was letting the devil’s traps succeed in making me fearful and distracting me from my real purpose. Ephesians 6:10-20 make it beyond clear that not only is the devil real, but we are real targets of a true enemy. I don’t like giving him much credit, but Paul clearly feels it’s enough of a threat to us spiritually that he feels the need to go into detail on how we might fight it and prepare our minds and hearts against these attacks.
Feeling like you aren’t enough? You are. Feeling like you can’t do something? You can. Feeling defeated or unwanted or unusable?? Don’t. Guard your heart against these attacks, just like Paul tells us. Our fears in our life circumstances are misplaced and misguided. Trust that God can provide for you and that He’s enough for you and don’t let the enemy put doubts about your worth or capabilities into your head.
Our only true fear should be that we are not representing Jesus and I love that two times Paul reminds us that we should be doing so fearlessly.