I’m so happy to be here sweeping my kitchen floor for the 3rd time, trying to get all of the glitter remnants up from yesterday’s arts and crafts time with the kids. And I’m not even being sarcastic! I never thought the words “happy” and “sweeping” would be in the same sentence for me, ever. If you know me well enough, or have ever had to endure being my roommate or coworker, you totally get why I say that; I’m a mess.
But as I stare at the little pile of red and green glitter on my kitchen floor, I can’t help but smile. I’m here and feel well enough to clean it up, I’m here to do crafts and make memories with the kids…I’m here.
By Your grace I live and breathe to worship You!
If you’re familiar with Christian music, you know that’s a line from Darlene Szchech’s “Victor’s Crown”. And I’m reminded of God’s grace and how God is giving me comfort in overcoming my survivor’s guilt.
Grace isn’t something we get because we deserve it or have earned it, it’s not something we can accomplish. It is so counterintuitive. It makes no sense. It goes against every way of the world.
And that’s why it is so awesome.
It’s God’s gift for all, it’s a fresh start, a clean slate, a new beginning. Every day that we have here on this planet is a new beginning, a fresh chance to get it right, a step towards a life of purpose in acceptance of grace through Jesus, no matter what our lives looked like before. All we have to do is accept it.
So even though I’m headed out now to get a new lesion biopsied, I kind of feel like I don’t care how it comes back. Weird, I know. But I’m not in control of this (that and of course the fact that my skin is the least of my worries at this point haha). But I am relishing the feeling that I don’t have to be strong enough or have all the answers. This has all been overcome.