50 Shades of Shame

I try not to write about current events because for the most part I’m not qualified or important enough to think that anyone may benefit from it.  The same goes for here.  You don’t care about my opinion on the “Fifty Shades of Grey” movie, but here it is anyway.

Apparently there is quite the debate going on in Christian culture about this movie (something about stylized sexual violence towards women?? Fun!) and I find a few things odd.  I didn’t read the books and have no intention of seeing the movie as we don’t watch rated-R movies (Personal choice. There’s enough bad stuff in PG-13 movies anyway, so let it be known I’m not “judging”).

Here’s my beef:
1. Why this movie?  Is there not plenty of sex in other movies that Christians watch all the time? Why did we decide that this particular one was worth shaming people out of seeing?  Because it’s marketed to women?  I truly don’t know, but I find it weird that we are obsessing over this one when there’s plenty of horrible movies with horrible things in them out there.

2. This article that many of my friends are sharing. Ok, if you’re going to bring Jesus into, let’s do it.  The author makes the argument that Jesus never scolded the Romans on their apparently orgy-filled, x-rated culture. I would say this, Jesus didn’t go to Rome either.  So wouldn’t that be the same as saying, just don’t go see the movie?  In Romans, Paul writes to the believers in Rome, and that’s a tough letter.  And it’s to the believers.  They didn’t completely ignore Roman culture as Roman culture was everywhere, they did address sexuality though.

And the author does something that is one of my biggest pet peeves, misuses the word “judging”. Biblically speaking, we know that we aren’t to judge, as in we have no say in who goes to heaven and who goes to hell. That’s not our call, not for us to say, not even to be a thought we entertain.  Ok, now that we are past that, it doesn’t mean we aren’t allowed to have an opinion, practice good judgement, or exhibit discernment. If I say I think the movie sounds gross and I don’t understand the draw, that’s not “judging” anyone. Come on, lady who wrote this, you should know better.

3. Jesus wants our hearts.  Christians know this.  And honestly, if you’re a non-believer reading this, feel free to check out now.  But wasn’t it Jesus who told us lust is the same as adultery? Isn’t that the same reason we fight against the grotesque tide of a culture that celebrates pornography?  Did I miss something?  Jesus wants us to guard our hearts and minds.  Make wise choices that don’t lead us into sin.  We know that we can’t be tempted beyond what God will provide a way out of.  So, if you are a mindful believer and you think this movie may have you fall into lust, don’t go see the movie. 

Honestly, I don’t care if people see the movie or not.  Just be self-aware enough, if you’re a believer, to know that you may lose a little credibility in the guarding your heart and mind department if you put it on blast on Facebook.

You all probably know my situation.  I have stage 4 cancer and am a Christ-follower.  I fall short, I make mistakes, I’m no where close to perfect.  If you think I am perfect, just disregard the previous sentence and carry on (kidding!).  I write this blog for many reasons, one of which is that so if I’m not around for my kids as they grow up and they would want to know what I think about stuff if they’re curious, they can check it out.  I imagine by the time they’re teenagers there will be a lot worse things out there than 50 Shades.

Am I wrong?  Curious what you all think.  Please be civil and kind in the replies.  And again, not “judging” so please don’t even go there.


25 thoughts on “50 Shades of Shame

  1. I plan on going to one of the theaters on opening day, but not to watch the movie. I am going to stand quietly, holding a cardboard sign which will read something akin to “Real Men Don’t Torture Women.” What do you think?

    1. I dont think that would deter anyone from seeing it. I don’t know much about it, but isn’t the girl ok with it? Like it may seem extreme, but it’s not rape or anything I don’t think. Maybe I’m not the best to ask an opinion about that one

      1. No, I don’t think it will deter anyone, either. And, yes, she is ok with it (as a lot of people are in their sexual fantasies). But I’ve been happily married for more than 20 years, and my wife doesn’t need me to tie her up, choke her, whip her, or make her sign a contract to know what real love is. Real love respects, cherishes, and honors. That’s what women need instead of users, abusers, and perverted screen fantasies.

      2. I just don’t understand why Christians are zeroing in on this particular movie. I don’t care what people do or like in their bedrooms, honestly, but that’s just me. You do what you gotta do (:

      3. I think the reason so many are zeroing in is because of the obvious popularity and multiple positive recommendations by Christian women. As you are probably aware, there is a growing disconnect between biblical morality and what is actually practiced by professing believers. And now, in an age of growing permissiveness, many church-going folk are being lured into the clutches of pornography through stuff like this. And because of these books, and this movie, a lot of marriages or going to be tainted a little more with discontent.

        I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be soap-boxing on this. It just hurts to know that there are so many women (and men) who think being entertained by stuff like this is helpful. All this movie is going to do is fuel the lust of the flesh. But, I’m a pastor, so you should expect that kind of talk from me, I suppose.

        Well, thanks for putting up with me, anyway 😉

      4. Trust me, I don’t disagree with you. My only point is that we need to be mindful of our hearts and mindful of Jesus’s call to protect our marriages from lust (adultery). We are definitely on the same page here.

  2. I always think there’s room to respectfully remind people to guard their hearts while gently reminding them it’s often the littlest allowances that permit sin a foothold in our lives. Nicely done, Kim ❤

  3. Well said. It’s pretty obvious that God did not create the act of sex in marriage for us to corrupt it with perversion brought about by the world. The act of making love to your spouse, while extremely arousing, was meant to unite two people who ahave given their lives to each other. It was never meant to be perverted.

  4. You Go Girl, Yikes this has lot of replies here, hot topic , more hot than stage 4 cancer ? As I said before I can’t believe any Christian would read the book or see the movie !!!

    1. Again, I think it’s important to not judge other Christians based on what they read or watch. At the end of the day, if you’re a Christ follower and I’m a Christ follower (and even if you’re not!) i want to help you on your journey. Everyone has a different path and relationship with God and for non-secular items thinks affect people different ways. For example, I had no problem watching Dexter, and I would be so horribly offended if a fellow Christian approached me in a vein “I can’t believe a Christian would watch that” rather than Kim’s approach of “It’s not the right choice for me because I’m extra cautious on how the non-secular world can affect you without you even knowing it.”

      It’s attitudes like the former that not only divide the Christian community but also turn off potential followers.

      Just my respectful opinion – we have a right to hold each other accountable but there’s a way to do that that waters people and makes them GROW rather than rips the roots of the ground and tosses them aside.

      1. I dint watch those movies my self but I agree with you why watch them your setting a poor example for other Christians people don’t think about who watching them. The y listen to how we speak how we treat people we need to set a good example for others. We have to walk the walk and talk the talk. No we Re not perfect but we can be an example for others and let them see Christ in us and our lives.

  5. The hooplah reminds me of that which surrounded Basic Instinct, and at least Michael Douglas is a pretty good actor.

    What I find strange about this nonsense is there are ”adult” movies all over the place yet something like this , which was labelled ”Mommy Porn”, attracts massive media interest because it apparently features a Plain Jane indulging in some bondage.

    I have yet to read a positive review of the book – as I write I have an interest in what readers and reviewers think/say.

    I image the author is laughing all the way to the bank, and if people are so shallow then more power to her laptop!
    Really, all very silly.

      1. For some strange reason, there has always been a fascination with what other people do when they take their clothes off. Well ,astounding as this may sound ; probably the same as everyone else! It is the way we are designed! Go figure, right? 🙂

        Maybe if people were more concerned with movies that depict graphic violence we might encourage a different mindset that reflected the way most people truly want to be. Such as walk the streets relaxed and let the kids play outside without worrying every five minutes and generally live a more peaceful, friendlier life?

  6. Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable — if anything is excellent or praiseworthy –think about such things. Phil. 4:8

  7. I came across this blog from a mutual friend – and I don’t think I could’ve come across a better post! I also am a Christian and this is a hot topic with many I know. I myself DID read the books, however I heard so many different reviews from Christians. And non Christians that I was curious what the content truly was.

    In my opinion the Christian church and media are blowing this up- MOSTLY because it is said to dehumanize women and make sex something unhealthy. I completely disagree.

    However, I agree 100% on the viewpoint of- know yourself, know your struggles. I was even telling my husband, I know me, and I know I am visual. And anything that may lead my head to lust or wander is not appropriate for me to watch- I did not have those thoughts w the book- therefore I will not see the movie. Simple as that!

    My opinion on women being “abused” is this as well- some women ENJOY and like their sex at times to be “rougher” just because a woman or a man enjoy this does not mean that their sexual intimacy is unhealthy or abusive in any way.

    1. Yeah I was a little out of my league without having read or seen the movie, but yeah we just have to be mindful. I was just blown away by the number of people posting that article basically giving permission for women to go see this so that they don’t feel guilty. You never know who you’re causing to stumble unfortunately.

      And yeah I’m really not even touching the fantasy part of it, it obviously resonates with a lot of women so whatever people want to do in their bedrooms is up to them!

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