Ok, not that anyone really cares, but I did something today that I never thought I would do again. I did something that I used to enjoy before my diagnosis but had to stop for physical reasons. I did something that I’ve missed very much but didn’t think I’d live to do again. Today, I went for a run.
Here’s a pic from just a few months before my diagnosis. This cemetery is my favorite place to run. And it didn’t hit me until I was running today that that is where my husband and I bought plots when things were looking particularly grim last year. So now I’m literally running right by the place that I thought I’d be by now. Now that will mess with your mind!
I wasn’t sure I could do it today. Cancer has been in the lymph nodes of my lungs, would my lungs be able to handle it? And my left thigh is still very uncomfortable from all of the muscle they took out of it for my transplant. Could I even run with all that scar tissued mess going on? Would my brain tumor spasm and send me into seizures? Would my port bother me at all?
It was uncomfortable and slow, but it got done!
Life is beginning to feel almost normal again. I don’t completely trust it, but I am so grateful to still be here. And to be doing things that I never thought I’d do again. It’s a small victory in the grand scheme of things, but it feels monumental.
Never count yourself out! Take your small victories and run with them. It’s so hard sometimes to stay positive, but stay the course and keep your head up, there is always hope. I have a PET scan this coming Friday. No matter what it says, I still feel like I’m winning. God is as good and faithful today when I feel great as He would be if I get devastating news in a few days.
As I ended my run, the David Guetta song “Titanium” came on, and I sang it right to cancer.
You shoot me down, but I get up
Nothing to lose
Fire away, fire away…