This just won’t ever feel normal to me. Routine, sure. But not normal. I’m at Penn once again waiting for chemo after seeing my oncologist. I do this every three weeks without fail. It’s practically the same day on repeat every time I go.
I still dread it though, although nothing bad ever happens. I can’t sleep the night before, even though there’s truly nothing to be anxious about. I still feel like some version of grumpy cat, even though it’s really not that bad.
I repeat this same day every three weeks and although cancer really is my new normal, it will never feel right. I can absolutely be positive about this because I’m still alive. One day every three weeks is such a small price to pay for what I’ve received. There are many, many blessings thrown in all of this, and I know God is here with me, but I still don’t have to like it, right?