Neither Helpless nor Hopeless

I should be asleep right now.  And in my defense, I tried.  I really did.  But there’s just too much going on.  Too much on my mind.  Too many things to worry about.

Not directly for myself, my health is still stable, nothing new (or at least particularly interesting)  on that end.  No, I’ve just been a bit out of sorts lately.  In fact I’ve been avoiding blogging and anything to do with it because if there’s literally one thing I don’t want to be, it would be fake.  I generally love responding on here (I mean, how cool is it that people take the time to comment?)  But as much as I love connecting with people, I’ve been struggling in the last few weeks to reconcile the very real struggles of others with what I know is true about God.  So how fake would I be trying to act like everything’s fine when it’s just not…

I’m trying to wrap my head around how hard some people really have it.  It just seems overwhelming – the needs, the hurting, the suffering, the unimaginable circumstances that people face every day.  People I love are seemingly bombarded with bad news and endless tough circumstances.  I have been craving God’s guidance and His wisdom in how to deal with these things.  Truly, I’ve been craving hope for people. 

I know that there is hope, but that doesn’t keep me from feeling completely helpless at times. I’ve come to learn what it’s like to stand on the sidelines with tear-stained cheeks, left confused at what I’m seeing, with thoughts racing but never adding up to anything of value.  I’ve come to know the pain of being completely broken by someone else’s diagnosis.  To be heartsick over someone else’s loss.  Many people have felt this way for us and I am beginning to understand this feeling of utter helplessness. 

God has been making my heart almost physically hurt for others lately.  I know it’s God doing this because it’s not really a natural response for me to get too hung up on the problems of others.  I mean, I care certainly, but what can I really in all practicality do?  I’ve got problems too, ya know!

But God is making a shift in how I think and how I perceive the world in relation to my ability to reach it.  As I allow Him to, He’s refining me, God’s teaching me an effective form of empathy and compassion that is, quite honestly, new to me.  It’s a useful and beautiful burden.  Like a lead weight that reminds me to love, showing me where I can be of practical use in meeting needs and then showing me places where all I can do is pray. 

I found this reminder tonight as I was reading in 1 Peter:

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We are empowered by God to do His work here in our short time on earth.  He equips us and gives us what we need to accomplish what is, on our own, completely impossible.  We are never truly helpless as we can pray.  Jesus prayed!  Just let that sink in for a second.

Psalm 116 comforted me greatly yesterday with the reminder that yes, God is listening and yes, He is good.  We don’t just have to throw our hands up in the air and express utter defeat.  No, we hold to His promises because we know He is faithful.  He hears us.  He loves us.  And He WILL empower us to do good for others even through our own struggles and sufferings, just as Jesus did. 

The question then becomes: do we love others enough to deny ourselves? 

I don’t want to bury my head in the sand anymore, even though sometimes the world is hard to look at.  There is a whole lot of brokenness out there, but God is an expert at healing, repairing, and redeeming.  We know this is true!  We experienced it first hand when we accepted salvation and allowed our pasts to be redeemed and our futures to be written by an author far greater than ourselves.

God is our comforter.  But we don’t need a comforter if we are comfortable.  He has called and equipped us and I believe that when we are willing to get uncomfortable, God will show up in amazing ways, refining us in our personal walks and shining a light through us that could only come from Him.

Let’s get uncomfortable.  Let’s take off our rose-colored glasses and open our eyes to the reason we are even here.  And may God receive the glory!

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7 thoughts on “Neither Helpless nor Hopeless

  1. EXTREMELY well written and thought out, we have a decal on the wall here, Hebrews 6:19. Hope Anchors the Soul.

  2. I feel your confusion and pain. Recently, a friend had a beautiful breakthrough in their life. God became so very real to them. It was fun to be around them as they exuded the presence of God in their life. Then four months down the road the big trial came. They would have buckled had not they experienced the four months of God’s close and refining presence. God knows what it takes to refine us and keep us true. It is not easy to watch or experience. Understanding for us is difficult because we are so earth bound and cannot see the whole picture as God sees it. Your eyes are so open because of your experience and God is using to refine you as well over your honesty! Florence

    Florence Gordon Send from my IPad.

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  3. Dearest Kim, I love how you are responding to the refining fire of God’s calling on your life. You have been chosen from the foundation of the world to fit this unique purpose in this unique place, time and circumstance. Without you, the cancer patients, doctors, health care professionals, friends, family and your blog family would not see the Lord’s WORD and TRUTH unfold before their eyes. your response to the light God is revealing makes all the difference. Thank you for humbling yourself to accept, no, embrace the challenges of your journey. You are teaching, training, confounding, challenging everyone around you to desire to know Jesus. You are living His life in a clay vessel, a cracked pot, but valuable as pure gold! Keep moving forward even when days feel like nothing is going right and you get side tracked. A world is watching and learning. When we all get to heaven, the fruit of this life will be revealed. Won’t it be awesome to find out who came along on this journey to Jesus?!

  4. I sometimes feel overwhelmed as well by all the hurt and tears in the world. It is then that I am reminded, I am not God. My responsibility is to pray. I am not responsible for the results. That part is up to God. If he directs me to action, I will listen. Otherwise, I am to pray and believe and love and let God be GOD.

  5. Dear Kim, You are an amazing young woman of God. Thank you for sharing your journey. I am also a cancer patient and I recently had a recurrence. Surgery and recovery were so tough this time, but grace prevailed. I am absolutely humbled by your sensitivity to others’ pain when I’ve been so wrapped up in my own! Thank you for this beautiful reminder of God’s goodness even in times of great suffering. I am praying for you. God is using you in mighty ways, dear girl.

  6. Kim, you “hit the nail on the head”! Recently I have been so burdened about the problems others are having, to the point that I was losing sleep and was depressed over all the “bad’ things that were happening to my friends and people in my church. Yes, I was holding them up in prayer, but I couldn’t see any change that was happening. Then it dawned on me that maybe I was the one God was working on! The other thing that dawned on me was that I was putting myself in their situation and was reacting the way I would in their situation! God works with us individually, and He gives grace, and love, and hope, and comfort to each of us as we need it, so who was I to think that they were discouraged or depressed? They may be at peace with their circumstances, and I was the one feeling depressed! I continue to pray for them, but God is God, and He works with each of us and gives us what we need, whether it is physical or emotional.

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