I should be asleep right now. And in my defense, I tried. I really did. But there’s just too much going on. Too much on my mind. Too many things to worry about.
Not directly for myself, my health is still stable, nothing new (or at least particularly interesting) on that end. No, I’ve just been a bit out of sorts lately. In fact I’ve been avoiding blogging and anything to do with it because if there’s literally one thing I don’t want to be, it would be fake. I generally love responding on here (I mean, how cool is it that people take the time to comment?) But as much as I love connecting with people, I’ve been struggling in the last few weeks to reconcile the very real struggles of others with what I know is true about God. So how fake would I be trying to act like everything’s fine when it’s just not…
I’m trying to wrap my head around how hard some people really have it. It just seems overwhelming – the needs, the hurting, the suffering, the unimaginable circumstances that people face every day. People I love are seemingly bombarded with bad news and endless tough circumstances. I have been craving God’s guidance and His wisdom in how to deal with these things. Truly, I’ve been craving hope for people.
I know that there is hope, but that doesn’t keep me from feeling completely helpless at times. I’ve come to learn what it’s like to stand on the sidelines with tear-stained cheeks, left confused at what I’m seeing, with thoughts racing but never adding up to anything of value. I’ve come to know the pain of being completely broken by someone else’s diagnosis. To be heartsick over someone else’s loss. Many people have felt this way for us and I am beginning to understand this feeling of utter helplessness.
God has been making my heart almost physically hurt for others lately. I know it’s God doing this because it’s not really a natural response for me to get too hung up on the problems of others. I mean, I care certainly, but what can I really in all practicality do? I’ve got problems too, ya know!
But God is making a shift in how I think and how I perceive the world in relation to my ability to reach it. As I allow Him to, He’s refining me, God’s teaching me an effective form of empathy and compassion that is, quite honestly, new to me. It’s a useful and beautiful burden. Like a lead weight that reminds me to love, showing me where I can be of practical use in meeting needs and then showing me places where all I can do is pray.
I found this reminder tonight as I was reading in 1 Peter:
We are empowered by God to do His work here in our short time on earth. He equips us and gives us what we need to accomplish what is, on our own, completely impossible. We are never truly helpless as we can pray. Jesus prayed! Just let that sink in for a second.
Psalm 116 comforted me greatly yesterday with the reminder that yes, God is listening and yes, He is good. We don’t just have to throw our hands up in the air and express utter defeat. No, we hold to His promises because we know He is faithful. He hears us. He loves us. And He WILL empower us to do good for others even through our own struggles and sufferings, just as Jesus did.
The question then becomes: do we love others enough to deny ourselves?
I don’t want to bury my head in the sand anymore, even though sometimes the world is hard to look at. There is a whole lot of brokenness out there, but God is an expert at healing, repairing, and redeeming. We know this is true! We experienced it first hand when we accepted salvation and allowed our pasts to be redeemed and our futures to be written by an author far greater than ourselves.
God is our comforter. But we don’t need a comforter if we are comfortable. He has called and equipped us and I believe that when we are willing to get uncomfortable, God will show up in amazing ways, refining us in our personal walks and shining a light through us that could only come from Him.
Let’s get uncomfortable. Let’s take off our rose-colored glasses and open our eyes to the reason we are even here. And may God receive the glory!