I guess it’s no secret I haven’t been on the blogging scene as much recently and I mean, how have you guys even survived without my unparalleled insight and superior wit?? Haha! Obviously I’m joking. But I find that when I am preparing for a speaking engagement, as I am now, I tend to blog less because I have a hard time discerning who exactly I’m preparing for. My blogs are basically a diary that I let everyone read where in my speaking engagements I tend to try to let the Spirit lead me to say what needs to be heard, not just what I want to say – if that makes any sense.
But as I’ve been preparing for this, I couldn’t get over the hurdle of feeling just completely unworthy. I don’t deserve this privilege – why would God choose me, of all people, to do this?
But then I think maybe that’s the point. I’m not speaking because I am a great speaker (truth! I’m not fishing for compliments) or because I particularly like doing it (there’s a chance I’ll lose my lunch all over the third row), but because God has given me a story worth telling, and I don’t mean the cancer thing. He has given this to all of us who believe and He wants us to use it. He just apparently likes to make me get up in front of groups of people and see if I can keep myself from throwing up or peeing my pants or something. They say God has a sense of humor, right? Well having me speak is quite a good joke!
But honestly, I’m glad to do it. Even if I do pee my pants. Because there is never a time when my rebirth at the cost of Christ’s life isn’t relevant. It’s who I am and it’s everything. And it’s way more than I deserve. I praise Jesus for giving us our individual testimonies and then giving us endless opportunities to share His love and to speak of the freedom and purpose new life in Him gives us.
I ran across this verse in Acts and it completely made me have a feeling of triumph. Check it out:
“The members of the council were amazed when they saw the boldness of Peter and John, for they could see that they were ordinary men with no special training in the scriptures.” Acts 4:13
This verse is so ridiculously empowering and I cannot believe I’ve read through Acts dozens of times and never picked up on it. Peter and John were ordinary. We are ordinary. See where in going with this? We tend to put the people in the Bible on a pedestal because, well, there isn’t exactly a Book of Kim, is there? But we forget that we are all sinners undeserving of this glorious gift, as were the disciples. The word “saint” has come to mean something within our culture that suggests great works and great recognition from other people – a level unreachable by us normal people, right? Nope. Paul uses the word in 1 Corinthians 1:2 to refer to all who have been “made holy by means of Jesus Christ, just as he did for all people everywhere who call on the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, their Lord and ours.” (Emphasis added).
Yo, how exciting is this – do you even understand how much faith God has in us?? Now how does our faith in Him measure up? Let’s be bold like Peter and John.
Now I GOTTA leave you with one of my all-time favorite jams. Give it a listen it’s legitimately awesome.
Lecrae – I’m A Saint
Just a little update: health wise I am fine (I think) and will get routine scans this Friday. Ok. Back to work for me.