God is Still Good…And Cancer Still Sucks

Hey guys! I know it has been an obscene amount of time and for that I apologize.  I had felt lead to focus my ministry more on people I could see and touch and less out over the internet.  I’ve enjoyed these last few months doing just that but I have certainly missed blogging quite a bit.  Not so much in the writing but in the connection with others that this has brought me.

I received an email today from a sweet friend who has been following this journey and was checking to make sure I was ok.  I realized when I read her kind and sincere words that I may have left a few of ya hanging – never my intent!  Anyway, you should know I’m fine.  I have problems here and there but in the grand scheme of things, they are completely minor. 

Considering at this point two years ago I was literally planning my own funeral, things are definitely looking just fine.  

But I’m faced with an issue tonight that I had to really confront after reading That email. 

I have my three month scans (PET/CT and brain MRI) tomorrow and, well… I’m scared.  There have been some major changes recently just all around in life and I’m not dealing well mentally with them and all I can think is that this is all preparation for the horrible things that will pop up on my scans tomorrow.  Crazy, right?  Obvi. I mean, come on, doesn’t the world revolve around me??

 So I did what any sane person would do.  I made and froze 10 jars of pesto.

For some reason, I’ve found it super relaxing to massacre the things from our garden in the form of freezing or canning *shrug*

So I guess I’m blogging tonight to let everyone know that I’m ok…

…And that I’m not ok.  I’m so painfully aware of what it will mean if something pops up on a scan.  I’m still and always trusting God but I still feel anxiety for what a bad scan will mean.  My kids finally know what it’s like to live a normal life. They have a mommy here everyday and tucking them in at night.  I feel totally fine – well at least fine enough to be everything they need to feel a sense of normalcy.  

And that could all be gone if something is found tomorrow.

God is still good. No. Matter. What.  And I truly believe that.  He loves my family even more than I do and so anything that happens will ultimately be for their benefit, as that is always the prayer of my heart.

But I’m not sure I’m strong enough to deal if something is found.  Yes, God is still good!! But…in my human-ness, I feel anxious and afraid. 

I would absolutely covet your prayers.  I have not a single doubt that that is what has gotten me this far.  I thank you all for being so amazing.

I know that no matter what happens tomorrow, that life is good. God is good. And we will keep going with His help!! ❤

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35 thoughts on “God is Still Good…And Cancer Still Sucks

  1. Pray for you daily, Will be praying specifically tomorrow……canning photo,,,thought I was on Pinterest by mistake………blondes have more fun ?

  2. You do what you gotta do to get through the day. That’s all you can do, right? Sending good thoughts your way tomorrow! (In other news, love the hair! 😉 )

  3. Love love love you my Bestie….God is with you and I Have Faith everything will be just fine;) Prayers lifted up my friend;)

  4. My prayers are with you for courage and strength. Psalm 34:4-7. I prayed to the Lord, and he answered me, freeing from all my fears. Those who look to him for help will be radiant with joy;no shadow of shame will darken their faces. I cried to the Lord in my suffering, and he heard me. He set me free from all my fears. For the Angel of the Lord guards all who fear him, and he rescues them. NLT. Walk in strength the devil is a liar. Florence G.

    Sent from my iPad

    >

  5. I will wear my tie dyed shirt I made tomorrow for work at Weaver Markets so that me and others will be praying for you all day. Thanks for the blog and the beautiful pictures of a beautiful family. I feel GOD ISN’T DONE WITH YOU YET !!!!!

  6. I pray your scan is ok, my scan is Wednesday and I take my son to college on Thursday, so much uncertainty but I have to put God in charge of my life.

  7. I will be thinking of You& sending Prayers Your way, I can’t even imagine how You’re feeling at this moment……God is Good, so let’s hope You get good news……😊🙏😊🙏💜💜

  8. Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for too you I lift up my soul. Psalms 143:8 praying for you!

  9. Kim, your words are sunbeams of hope! I marvel at the rightness of the frozen pesto – chatterbox duly squashed. 🙂 Sending loving thoughts and prayers. xo

  10. It is so good to hear from you. I will be praying for you tomorrow. I actually will be at Hershey Childrens Hospital tomorrow morning, maybe I will see you there. Your hope and courage brighten my day. It stinks that we have an enemy in the world -waging war on the saints of God. We have a greater Savior – who is a mighty warrior! The King of Kings and Lord of Lords! One day, he will wipe away all sickness and destroy the enemy. Our Jesus is so sweet and precious. I am so so happy that you know him. Praying for you!

  11. Dear Kim,
    It was good to hear from you. You are such an inspiration- your faith, your tenacity and your love for God and family. Your children are beautiful and so blessed that you are their mother. Prayers being sent up to The Almighty.

    I have to say this because two very close friends are battling cancer.
    It sucks- cancer sucks but so do many other diseases.

  12. I’m in a similar spot as you. I have a 2 year old named Parker. I’m scared to death but trying to pull hard on faith in God and knowing I’m not alone. My scan is Wednesday. They found a nodule in my lung. I don’t even know what else to say. Thank you for sharing your story and I pray for you. Keep me in your prayers as well. ❤️

    Nichelle Stigger

  13. Kim, thank you for reaching out and praying for me. I had my scan and it was clear. They will have to follow up with another scan in 6 months to monitor them. I was in such shock and relief I didn’t ask many questions. I feel relief but also feel that this will be around forever… acceptance. I must hold my faith close. I also feel guilt, guilty that I have found relief and so many others may not have. I still feel all the anxiety and worry I had. It creeps on me at night. It’s still recovery. Please don’t get me wrong, I am elated and my life has changed for the better. My 2 year with hemophilia has his mommy. That’s all that matters ❤️

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