I met with my oncologist in Philly this afternoon and I’m just still so astounded by how this all played out.
It started with seeing my results posted online yesterday. The wordings of the reports from my brain MRI and my full body PET scan are something I literally thought I’d never see the day. In fact, I was a little suspicious so while I shared the news with close family, I did not spread the word just in case my homie Dr. A would say something different today. But yo. Check it out:
Whoa. There was a ton less medical jargon to google and the reports were shorter than I’ve ever seen. What is happening?! (There was a fascinating report detailing my sinus infection seen on both scans though. Totally rad for real.)
Then today I met with my oncologist and he was obviously very pleased with how this is all going and… he thinks it’s ok for me to stop my seizure meds! Why is this important? Because he can’t assure me I won’t have any seizures once I’m off of it because he’s never had a stage 4 patient go off of this medicine.
It’s nuts. And I only say this because I’m still trying to grasp this myself. Once you have tumors in your brain from melanoma it’s typically marked as the beginning of the end. The meds keep the side effects as minimal as possible while tumors typically grow, multiply, and metastasize. And here is my genius doctor with a million patients saying he thinks it will be fine but he doesn’t know because he’s never had this opportunity before. This was super exciting!!
Until I had to give 10 vials of blood for research purposes. Eh whatever, I’ll be a guinea pig for this. 😎
It was a gorgeous day today and I received some really great and exciting news. I’ve recently found it harder to deal with this topic with the kids as they get older and have more specific questions but we take it a day at a time.
Today, as we were laying in the grass watching the puffy white clouds roll quickly past us while basking in the patches of sunlight, I told them I had some big news. I told them that at this point they can’t find any cancer in me. My six year old sat straight up with an open mouth and wide eyes. They began to sing “Mommy doesn’t have cancer! Mommy doesn’t have cancer!” My heart both flew and sank at the same time. My kids are fully rejoicing in this good news, but it’s also not something that I would choose for them to have to deal with if I could avoid it.
Our life is different from cancer but I cannot say it’s worse. I know this isn’t the case for many people and so I share this with a heavy heart on their behalf.
So….we enjoyed the afternoon. They played joyfully in the springtime weather and I rejoiced inside knowing that I shouldn’t even be here to see that.
It was a good day.